Belenggu Detik Waktu

Bagaimana?
Ya. Bagaimana tanyaku
Pilihan mana yang jadi pilihanku
Atau malah pilihan itu yang memilihku?
Bagaimana sebenarnya hidup ini ada?

Hanya saja aku ingin tanyakan tanpa belenggu
Seiring detik terus bergulir
Bukankah kita tidak pernah berhenti bertanya?

Mengapa?
Ya. Mengapa tanyaku
Kalau kita ada untuk akhirnya kembali ke tanah dan laut
Kalau di balik kedipan mata telah lama hidup ini ditentukan
Kalau ada pemilik dari seluruh rahasia semesta

Hanya saja aku ingin ungkapkan tanpa malu
Selama bumi kamu injak
Pernahkah tanyamu
Siapa dirimu sebenarnya?

Bukan maksudku menyinggung Tuhan
Hanya saja aku ingin tanyakan tanpa belenggu
Apakah kamu ingin biarkan celah itu membuatmu retak?
Ataukah kamu memilih untuk menutupinya?
Sekali lagi membiarkannya diam
seiring detik yang terus bergulir

Karmic Congruence

She's happy when she is happy.

But once there's pain peeking through the curtain of her hearts, she can no longer contain it.

Her heart is venting out a plethora of pain. Her tears are running as flood.

This rush. Is killing her. Softly. Or shall they say slowly.

She tends to ignore the muss in her heart, let alone her heart.

When she speaks, she turns off the pain. Hiding it. 

She made no anticipation of any dark strands of lost hopes creeping inch by inch.
Realizing the past shortcomings, she felt bad for herself.
If only she can erase and repaint her life.
Not that she regretted it, but she seemed to have lost the enthusiasm for this particular journey.
Wondering still, pondering through the night.
Imagining what does it feels like to live another man's life.
What would happened if she'd reincarnated.
Would she be able to turn those lost hopes into fulfilling dreams?
Then again, she ask herself whose hopes they were.
Were those are hers? She again squandered her own scattered thoughts.
Such a pity!
Let's hope that by the time she gets older,
going through even harder times,
she knows that she can always find a way to dance under the rain.
And when the rain has passed,
other people might only regret that they are soaking wet.
But she were the only one rejoiced by it, because she danced.

Jadi begini. 

Kapanpun secara tiba-tiba bisa saja isakan tangis itu pecah. Entah karena memang sebelumnya ia sengaja menahan atau tertahan tanpa ia sadari. Terus menjadi orang yang senang dan tersenyum di depan orang lain. Apa yang ada di benaknya sampai air mata itu menetes ia sendiri pun tak tahu. Ada kalanya ia merasa kosong. Kadang pula ia merasa sangat hampa. Bahkan ada saat-saat ia bersyukur diantara isakan tangisnya. Ketika menangis, ia tahu akan tertawa lagi setelah bangun dari tidurnya. Lupa sejenak akan masalah yang ia tidak sadari keberadaanya. Atau membohongi dirinya sendiri bahwa tidak ada yang salah sama sekali dalam hidupnya.

Ia tahu bahwa hidup penuh cita rasa. Tidak bisa hanya manis melulu yang ditelan, bisa-bisa muntah karena mual. Memang manusia butuh rasa asin, asam, dan pahit agar bisa menikmati rasa manis itu lagi. Kadang ia menjadi ragu dan takut kalau sebenarnya rasa manis yang ia rasakan adalah pahit. Masalahnya di sini ia tidak lagi punya cukup tenaga untuk menentukan rasa yang sedang menyelimutinya. Sekalipun orang lain dapat melihat selimut itu, ia sekali lagi bersembunyi dan berharap selimut itu akan digantikan dengan selimut lain dengan sendirinya. Ia pun tahu bahwa orang lain tidak bisa mengganti selimut itu apabila ia bersembunyi dibaliknya, ia tidak membuat orang lain bisa membantunya. Padahal ia ingin sekali. Ia tahu apa yang harus dilakukan berikutnya, tetapi ia enggan keluar dari zona nyaman. Di antara kegamangan itu, ia pun hanya bisa menangis dan tertawa getir. Meskipun ia tahu tangisan itu tidak berguna dan tawa itu akan sirna.

Ya, begitulah.

The Key

There's this guy. He has the most similar, if exactly the same is too absolute, way of thinking as she has. He is the reflection of her thoughts. In fact, he is sitting right next to her, driving her home. They see things through the same eyes as if they’re in each other’s body. This guy and the girl, they are that happy-go-lucky couple. Simply comfortable and happy with each other side by side when their eyes meet or heart to heart in distance. No drama, no demands. They feel equal.

Careless. Not paying enough attention to what one does. Yes. As much as they care about each other, they are less concerned at many other things of their partner. Giving just enough private space. It’s funny that for them, this ‘careless’ has the role not only as the provider of comfort but also as their root of fear. They are afraid if the carelessness make one of them begin to lose the passion. From careless turns into completely ignorant. As she/he keeps trying to hold on and fix everything, the other person doesn’t give a shit about anything anymore. Poof! There goes away the equality. Then one of them would leave. 

He said that in a relationship, boys (not men) are nice and thoughtful and everything in the beginning, then sooner or later the affection getting less and less. She agrees. Then girls who still have the same lovey-dovey feeling would hold on or maybe they would eventually leave with a broken heart. Maybe the girl could keep up with the slight yet constant changes, or maybe not. On the other hand, girls tend to be irrational. Whine about silly things or be mad for no reason or too dreamy about the future. Maybe the guy could cope with her or maybe he would walk away.

Things would turn ugly, stay the same, may be gets even better. Who knows, right? As long as both of lovers still enjoy whatever they have, nothing could go wrong. As long as they are willing to go through anything together.

As long as they love equally.

PS: 4-5683-968-7392

To Infinity and Beyond

Free yourself from negative people. 

Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded. Relationships should help you, not hurt you. Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you -people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. When you free yourself from negative people, you free yourself to be YOU -and being YOU is the only way to truly live.

Those aren't my words. A friend of mine posted it in one of the social media, which I'm sure it isn't her words either. Anyhow, I find those statements appealing and put me into some thoughts.

For me, surrounding yourself with the people most similar to you is how the universe connect to you and gives you what you want, consciously or not. I speak here upon the law of attraction, if you haven't heard of it let me put it simple : what you give is what you get. In order to receive positive feedbacks (getting what you want), you have to do positive actions or simply generating positive thoughts.  Affirming that you are what you think you'll become. Convincing yourself that you are just this close to achieve your dreams and goals. 

Where does all these positivity come from? If it's not coming from yourself, it comes from the people around you. Seeing the people that reflects what you would like to be shall give you the courage to throw away your can't(s) and impossible thoughts. Start affirming, and go for it. If you haven't notice, we are humans which can do the most extraordinary things. You just gotta push yourself harder than usual. You gotta be a little more masochist than other people.

You are infinite.

Unlocked

I wish I could write about us. The whole story.

But what can I say?

There's too much to tell. I couldn't decide where to start, what to write. All I can think of are those little pieces of memories I had with you. Happiness filled with laughter, pain completed by tears, humiliation yet admiration we received from others.

Even when people think there's no more us, I know somehow we're still connected.
Even though we're no longer together, I think of you often.
Even when I was alone or with someone else, I missed you now and then.
Even though you were nowhere to be seen, I see you with my heart.

I'm sure you think of me, but in what way?
I'm sure you miss me, but was it as much?
I'm sure you see me, but was it with your heart?
I'm sure you feel the connection, but was there faith?

Then fate came in.

In some magical way, we talked. Talked and talked.
It was 5 minutes before midnight when I told you what day it was that day. And our thoughts went to the same thing. The day that marked the beginning of our story.

I always knew that :
No matter why,
no matter what,
no matter when,
no matter where,
no matter how,
we're forever ours even though there's no more us.

Thoughtful Friendship

Discovery is a very exciting moment in friendship. It's that little light bulb that ignites when you learn something new about a person-a commonality that creates and instant bond. It can be subtle as a similar sense of humor or as solid as a shared opinion. Sudoku, surfing, cooking, anything. Discovering these things requires a little groundwork. Discovery requires being active about seeking out new friends. The secret lies in truly being open to making the connection. If you're willing to strike up a conversation, you could meet someone in line at the post office, ordering a Frappuccino at Starbucks, and so on. Almost any spot has friend-making potential. The firs step in making friendship is simply to place yourself amongst people you don't know, or don't know well and then start talking. Compliments, opinion soliciting, information request, are an effective way to start a conversation or joining them.

To be an active participant in a conversation you must receive as well as give. Allow your conversational partner the opportunity to respond. Because if you don't the worst could happened is that you might discourage your new friend entirely. You don't want that do you? Good intentions and halfhearted efforts don't make connections; a genuine commitment to treating every situation as an opportunity to meet someone new does.

Perhaps the most important component of friendship is trust. Without it, there can be no real confidence in the relationship, and no room for growth beyond the superficial. Building trust requires a leap of faith, but you'll find it worth the risk. Let your friends know that you accept them just as they are, that you won't reject them despite the occasional failing. Then trust that they will do dthe same for you. Freely express your regard and affection for your friends, and accept theirs in return. The more you give, the more you are likely to receive. Keep the give and receive in balance, although you may not discuss the balance as openly, but be aware of it.

People constantly pepper their stories with detailed descriptions of specific facts that are often buried by the larger, seemingly more important, aspects of a story. Sometimes, too, a person's larger-than-life personality can render the small details of a conversation seemingly inconsequential. Yet if you pay attention to the specifics of conversation, you may discover in them that you have things in common that could form an instant bond.

It's great to learn so quickly that someone's likes or dislikes may be similar to yours, and it's also helpful in moving along a friendship. “You mentioned you were biking last weekend,” you might say to someone who talked about it in passing. “I love to mountain bike. Where do you ride?”

In this brief interaction you can see precisely how drawing on the specifis of a conversation enables you to advance the relationship. First, you show that you were really listening. Then you point out a common bond and offer positive reinforcement by saying, “I love to mountain bike.” The final question is perhaps the most important because it leads to extended interaction : “Where do you ride?”

In addition to remembering important details, events, or birthdays, you should look for unique ways to personalize your friendship. Instead of simply meeting a friend for lunch, make a more thoughtful, meaningful gesture. If, for example, an acquaintance has moved into a new apartment in your neighborhood, why not offer to show him around? Taking the time to be thoughtful in this way is away of expressing yourself. The point is to let the other person know that you care, and are willing to do something about it. Correspondence and action-like compliments-mean much more when they are unexpected and supposedly unnecessary, and they give you an easy way to express your true feelings. This is how you can establish yourself as a friend before it's time to lend and ear at a serious juncture.

With so many potential friends, it's tempting to load your address book with name after name and collect phone numbers the same way trump makes money-fast and furiously. Calm down and take a deep breath. While there is always room in your life for one more friend each day, do not rush the process and mistake the quantity of your friends for quality. The real goal in friendship should be to enjoy really knowing one another. You can only do that if you spend time together, so why don't you ask them to share doing yours or their hobbies together?

There are many creative ways for you to be sociable. Creating new and different experiences to share with friends can be as simple as trying a new restaurant together, as substantial as taking a trip or as adventurous as trying something completely new (trapeze classes or a day spent snorkeling). Whatever activity you decide to embark on, give it a creative twist : instead of simply meeting friends, organize a clothing swap where everyone brings a few unwanted articles and gets to make and exchange. Donate any leftovers to a resale shop or charity organization.

Leave some room for spontaneity. If you and a friend are going to a restaurant that also happens to be located in the same neighborhood where another friends lives, give her a call for a spur-of-the-moment invitation. At the very least, you will return with great stories (and, hopefully, a full tummy, too).

A successful friendship is similar : it may look effortless and easy but both parties know how much work is required to keep it afloat. If you are able to go with the flow of a friendship-yielding to it when it needs to be nurtured and patiently overcoming emotional or situational hurdles when they arise, for example-you'll find that the requisite of work is absolutely enjoyable. Working on something that really matters to you is never laborious or tedious, after all, and friendships are among life's greatest works!

Let's take a moment then, with all this talk of ebbing, to be thankful that we can enjoy this labor, and to celebrate and honor all the friendships that make life worth living.