July is here!

July has always been my favorite month of the year. What reason other than my birthday could there be? On the date 15th, people will send me their wishes about me into any creative way as possible. On that very day, I have the justification to ask for everyone's attention. Or at least I can get in touch with some long lost entourages. On the other hand, I can ask favors or presents as much as I want! Not that I get all of it granted, though.

Anyway, this year, I see July quite differently. Recently I find myself myself putting much thought into what I really want to do in life. I guess I caught the '20s syndrome' (Is that what its called?). Since it's mid-year, I would reflect the past first-half year and plan for the following second-half year. I was never a person who keep in track with my goals, but I always set them. Unfortunately, I keep letting those goals slip and neglected. So in this July, I am managing my interests and passions for at least in the next 2 years until I graduate from college. And hopefully would set a new life plan and carry on with it.

Destiny is not a matter of chance,

it is a matter of choice.

It is not a thing to be waited for, 

it is a thing to be achieved.

William Jennings Bryan

Belenggu Detik Waktu

Bagaimana?
Ya. Bagaimana tanyaku
Pilihan mana yang jadi pilihanku
Atau malah pilihan itu yang memilihku?
Bagaimana sebenarnya hidup ini ada?

Hanya saja aku ingin tanyakan tanpa belenggu
Seiring detik terus bergulir
Bukankah kita tidak pernah berhenti bertanya?

Mengapa?
Ya. Mengapa tanyaku
Kalau kita ada untuk akhirnya kembali ke tanah dan laut
Kalau di balik kedipan mata telah lama hidup ini ditentukan
Kalau ada pemilik dari seluruh rahasia semesta

Hanya saja aku ingin ungkapkan tanpa malu
Selama bumi kamu injak
Pernahkah tanyamu
Siapa dirimu sebenarnya?

Bukan maksudku menyinggung Tuhan
Hanya saja aku ingin tanyakan tanpa belenggu
Apakah kamu ingin biarkan celah itu membuatmu retak?
Ataukah kamu memilih untuk menutupinya?
Sekali lagi membiarkannya diam
seiring detik yang terus bergulir

Impian Sang Pemimpi

Disclaimer : Mungkin tulisan ini tidak lebih baik daripada tulisan-tulisan lain tentang impian. Mungkin tulisan ini tidak menggugah kamu untuk bermimpi dan mengejar impian. Mungkin tulisan sederhana ini hanya sekedar self-reminder bagi penulisnya, atau bagi yang terketuk pintu hatinya. 

Berawal dari inspirasi dan idealisme, setiap orang pasti punya impian.

Ada orang-orang yang yakin betul impiannya akan terwujud dan konsisten mengejarnya, 

ada yang setengah hati meyakini impiannya terwujud tetapi juga takut kalau saja ia gagal dan tidak sanggup menghadapi realita,

ada pula yang belum usaha apa-apa menepis impiannya dan kembali ke realita.

Atau, lupakan kata 'setiap' pada kalimat pertama di atas. Mengingat bahwa masih banyak di luar sana, orang-orang yang tidak punya impian. Padahal seumur hidupnya menuntut ilmu di sekolah hingga universitas, atau iri melihat kesuksesan tokoh-tokoh hebat di berbagai bidang. Sangat disayangkan, segala pengetahuan yang telah diserap dan kemampuan yang telah dimiliki tidak dituangkan menjadi sebuah impian, yang pada keberuntungan dan kesempatan tertentu dapat membawa kebaikan bagi orang lain.

Impian tidak harus cita-cita masa kecil yang terlupakan. Bisa saja ketika kecil kita belum mengenali siapa diri kita dan impian apa yang sesungguhnya kita ingin wujudkan. Impian itu bisa saja muncul baru-baru ini, ketika kita menyadari terlalu terjebak dalam rutinitas dan hasrat ingin berkarya dan bebas itu muncul. 

Kalau boleh memberi saran, perbanyak impianmu! Atau setidaknya, bagi yang belum punya impian sama sekali, Bermimpilah! Ciptakan impian yang paling ideal, bukan paling 'ngayal', tentunya. Impian yang kamu tahu bagaimana cara mewujudkannya atau setidaknya langkah pertama apa yang harus kamu ambil. Impian yang tidak disertai usaha untuk mewujudkannya hanya bisa disebut 'khayalan'. 

Alexander Graham Bell pernah berkata, "All glory comes from daring to begin." Jadi, jangan pernah takut bermimpi. Jangan takut kehilangan arah ketika mewujudkan impianmu. Apapun yang kamu impikan, berbagilah dengan orang lain. Siapa tahu kamu akan menemukan orang yang bisa membantumu mewujudkan impian itu. Bahkan akan saling melengkapi demi impian bersama dapat terwujud. Dan ingatlah pepatah lama: berakit-rakit ke hulu, berenang-renang ke tepian.

Dream it. Earn it. Live it.

Karmic Congruence

She's happy when she is happy.

But once there's pain peeking through the curtain of her hearts, she can no longer contain it.

Her heart is venting out a plethora of pain. Her tears are running as flood.

This rush. Is killing her. Softly. Or shall they say slowly.

She tends to ignore the muss in her heart, let alone her heart.

When she speaks, she turns off the pain. Hiding it. 

She made no anticipation of any dark strands of lost hopes creeping inch by inch.
Realizing the past shortcomings, she felt bad for herself.
If only she can erase and repaint her life.
Not that she regretted it, but she seemed to have lost the enthusiasm for this particular journey.
Wondering still, pondering through the night.
Imagining what does it feels like to live another man's life.
What would happened if she'd reincarnated.
Would she be able to turn those lost hopes into fulfilling dreams?
Then again, she ask herself whose hopes they were.
Were those are hers? She again squandered her own scattered thoughts.
Such a pity!
Let's hope that by the time she gets older,
going through even harder times,
she knows that she can always find a way to dance under the rain.
And when the rain has passed,
other people might only regret that they are soaking wet.
But she were the only one rejoiced by it, because she danced.

Jadi begini. 

Kapanpun secara tiba-tiba bisa saja isakan tangis itu pecah. Entah karena memang sebelumnya ia sengaja menahan atau tertahan tanpa ia sadari. Terus menjadi orang yang senang dan tersenyum di depan orang lain. Apa yang ada di benaknya sampai air mata itu menetes ia sendiri pun tak tahu. Ada kalanya ia merasa kosong. Kadang pula ia merasa sangat hampa. Bahkan ada saat-saat ia bersyukur diantara isakan tangisnya. Ketika menangis, ia tahu akan tertawa lagi setelah bangun dari tidurnya. Lupa sejenak akan masalah yang ia tidak sadari keberadaanya. Atau membohongi dirinya sendiri bahwa tidak ada yang salah sama sekali dalam hidupnya.

Ia tahu bahwa hidup penuh cita rasa. Tidak bisa hanya manis melulu yang ditelan, bisa-bisa muntah karena mual. Memang manusia butuh rasa asin, asam, dan pahit agar bisa menikmati rasa manis itu lagi. Kadang ia menjadi ragu dan takut kalau sebenarnya rasa manis yang ia rasakan adalah pahit. Masalahnya di sini ia tidak lagi punya cukup tenaga untuk menentukan rasa yang sedang menyelimutinya. Sekalipun orang lain dapat melihat selimut itu, ia sekali lagi bersembunyi dan berharap selimut itu akan digantikan dengan selimut lain dengan sendirinya. Ia pun tahu bahwa orang lain tidak bisa mengganti selimut itu apabila ia bersembunyi dibaliknya, ia tidak membuat orang lain bisa membantunya. Padahal ia ingin sekali. Ia tahu apa yang harus dilakukan berikutnya, tetapi ia enggan keluar dari zona nyaman. Di antara kegamangan itu, ia pun hanya bisa menangis dan tertawa getir. Meskipun ia tahu tangisan itu tidak berguna dan tawa itu akan sirna.

Ya, begitulah.

a friend in need is a friend indeed

She shares her stories to many friends, but she feels incomplete without telling those stories to one particular friend. A very best friend of hers. When she finally did, she's relieved. 

This very best friend sees things beyond what meets the eyes. Make her realize what is missing inside her. This very best friend gives advice like no other friend. Helps her finds her answer. 

And she's thankful for the presence of such friend in her supposedly extraordinaire life.

The Key

There's this guy. He has the most similar, if exactly the same is too absolute, way of thinking as she has. He is the reflection of her thoughts. In fact, he is sitting right next to her, driving her home. They see things through the same eyes as if they’re in each other’s body. This guy and the girl, they are that happy-go-lucky couple. Simply comfortable and happy with each other side by side when their eyes meet or heart to heart in distance. No drama, no demands. They feel equal.

Careless. Not paying enough attention to what one does. Yes. As much as they care about each other, they are less concerned at many other things of their partner. Giving just enough private space. It’s funny that for them, this ‘careless’ has the role not only as the provider of comfort but also as their root of fear. They are afraid if the carelessness make one of them begin to lose the passion. From careless turns into completely ignorant. As she/he keeps trying to hold on and fix everything, the other person doesn’t give a shit about anything anymore. Poof! There goes away the equality. Then one of them would leave. 

He said that in a relationship, boys (not men) are nice and thoughtful and everything in the beginning, then sooner or later the affection getting less and less. She agrees. Then girls who still have the same lovey-dovey feeling would hold on or maybe they would eventually leave with a broken heart. Maybe the girl could keep up with the slight yet constant changes, or maybe not. On the other hand, girls tend to be irrational. Whine about silly things or be mad for no reason or too dreamy about the future. Maybe the guy could cope with her or maybe he would walk away.

Things would turn ugly, stay the same, may be gets even better. Who knows, right? As long as both of lovers still enjoy whatever they have, nothing could go wrong. As long as they are willing to go through anything together.

As long as they love equally.

PS: 4-5683-968-7392

Nyanyian Semalam

Semalam aku menyapa hujan
Ataukah hujan yang menyambutku?
Entahlah. Seketika itu aku terhenyak di bawah kehangatan selimut
Semalam aku menghampiri petir
Ataukah petir yang menghampiriku?
Entahlah. Yang terasa hanya serpihan kesenangan sebelum aku tidur

Lelapku bercerita kalau semalam mereka bernyanyi untukku
Nyanyian yang sama sekali tidak merdu buat mereka
Tatkala Ibukota acuh pada syahdunya hujan

Lelapku bercerita kalau pagi tadi mereka masih bernyanyi
Nyanyian yang mengantarkan rindu akan hati nurani
Tatkala Ibukota telah lupa diri

Andai ruang di antara gedung-gedung itu diasuh oleh cinta
Andai di tiap sudut kota tertulis "CINTAI AKU"
Mungkin Ibukota akan menyambut ramah tiap hujan berkunjung
Mungkin Ibukota masih teduh di bawah hati yang syahdu



Semoga warga Jakarta tidak selalu mengutuk banjir, yang sebenarnya merupakan hasil ulah mereka sendiri. Kutuklah kebiasaan-kebiasan merusak lingkungan. Jangan biarkan Ibukota tenggelam dan manusia-manusia busuk hidup di dalamnya. #saveJakarta

To Infinity and Beyond

Free yourself from negative people. 

Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded. Relationships should help you, not hurt you. Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you -people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. When you free yourself from negative people, you free yourself to be YOU -and being YOU is the only way to truly live.

Those aren't my words. A friend of mine posted it in one of the social media, which I'm sure it isn't her words either. Anyhow, I find those statements appealing and put me into some thoughts.

For me, surrounding yourself with the people most similar to you is how the universe connect to you and gives you what you want, consciously or not. I speak here upon the law of attraction, if you haven't heard of it let me put it simple : what you give is what you get. In order to receive positive feedbacks (getting what you want), you have to do positive actions or simply generating positive thoughts.  Affirming that you are what you think you'll become. Convincing yourself that you are just this close to achieve your dreams and goals. 

Where does all these positivity come from? If it's not coming from yourself, it comes from the people around you. Seeing the people that reflects what you would like to be shall give you the courage to throw away your can't(s) and impossible thoughts. Start affirming, and go for it. If you haven't notice, we are humans which can do the most extraordinary things. You just gotta push yourself harder than usual. You gotta be a little more masochist than other people.

You are infinite.